Fix Me
by Xx U c h i h a K e d o s h ixX
Summary: Sakura's problems are far worse then anyone could imagine, all because she wants to reach perfection. Bulimia, anorexia, and drugs start to take over her life, and the only people who know are the Uchiha's. Can Sasuke save her? M FOR A REASON! SASUSAKU
1. The tainted cherry

**A/N: Hiya! I'm XxTheProblemChildxX!!! Nice to meet you, and thank you for even **_**clicking on**_** my very first fanfic! Well… Not my **_**first…**_**But my first one I actually want to finish, xD; Anywho… This is my first fanfic in a LOOOOOONG time, and I didn't write **_**at. All.**_** This summer, so… Don't blame me if it's bad D: And not only that, but please, don't question how I know this much about the problems Sakura faces in this story. I know from experience, and if you tell me some of what I'm saying is wrong, this is what **_**I**_** know, and if you look at my profile-thingy, you would know why….. Ah, fuck it, I'll tell you. I've been through a lot of what I'll talk about in this story, and please don't ask if I'm okay, I will be fine. Have no fear. xD. But anywho…..(Please ignore the spelling mistakes. I swear it's not my fault!)**

**DISCLAIMER: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't own Naruto…. If I did Sasuke would be back by now(jerk face…) and he and Sakura would get married and have a wonderful life, Karin would burn in hell, ShikaInoNaru amazing love triangle… Etc.**

**On with my story!**

Sakura awoke after that God-awful dream she just had. Breathing heavily, she sat up abruptly. Her already pale face was now completely drained of it's color. Closing her watery emerald eyes, she griped her sheets and whispered into the dark, "Never again…", even though she knew nobody could hear her. As long as she could hear herself, that's all that mattered. Right…?

Silently, a teardrop fell down her cheek, crashing on the floor. And her inside screeched at her, "_Stop crying, you weakling! Shut the hell up and get over it! It was just a damned dream!"_, she swore violently to herself. But the fact is, that horrid dream could come true any day now. Hell, she was _expecting it. _For the fact being, she had already gone through that pain.

It broke her more then it fixed her. They lied to her. _He _lied to her. It's not like he cared, anyway. So it shouldn't matter. Right…?

_Stop. Fucking. Doubting. Yourself you ungrateful bitch!_, her inner personality yelled. The tears came back as quickly as they came earlier.

"Stop yelling at me…", she asked into the darkness surrounding her. Because that darkness was currently all she had. Hell, it was all she _ever_ had.

After Ino left her all alone, after Hinata, after TenTen, after Naruto… After they all went away from her, _he_ was left with her. And all _he _did was break her. She was perfectly fine. She had mended from her old habits…

Though that was a total lie, she needed him to believe it. Because she didn't want to leave him. And she didn't want him to go away like the others, she didn't want him to drift. Because that's all the others have done, drifted away from her.

_And who's fault is that, huh?_, the statue screamed at her.

"No… You're not really here… You're not real…", she told herself, the words spoken falling into the room like raindrops. Noticed and then distinguished.

_Yes, I am. Now answer my question, bitch._, the statue told her, obviously angry with the poor cherry blossom. "It's… My fault…", she wimpered out slowly. She didn't want to say it, but she knew it was true.

Once she had starting doing… _That_… She had started to push them away without realizing it. Soon, her worst fear had become true; she was left all alone in this never ending hole. With no latter, and no hope of light. It was all gone.

Because of her goddamn choices.

_That's right. You're an idiot. Accept it and get over with killing yourself. It's not like you can ever be perfect anyway. Or be noticed. You die, you'll be noticed. How about that, huh?_, the voice in her brain told her.

"But… I don't want to die…", she said, fear dripping in her every word.

The voice laughed. _Hah! Hardly. Don't you think it would be better for the world if you were gone?_

She starting shaking. Soon, another voice came.

**Shh, honey. It's okay. I'm here for you.** Sakura felt arms around her. The arms she wished were real, but weren't. But she could pretend, right?

**Of course you can pretend, my darling.**, It said to her. Sakura attempted a smile, but failed miserably. She may not have had a mirror or another person there, but she knew by the way her face felt. Then again, she hadn't _really_ smiled in a long time.

_Hah! Not surprising, being the idiot that you are…_, the voice whispered, arrogantly. The cherry blossom shook her head violently."No, no no no no! Get out of my head! Get out!", she screamed at nobody.

**Why don't you go downstairs so you can eat, darling., **Sakura heard. She looked around, wishing for the voice to be real. But she can pretend. Though pretending hurt her more then realization. Because if you pretend long enough, you been to think it's real. But when it comes to the truth that it isn't, the blow is much harder then it should be.

_No, my dearie. You are going to get fat if you eat.,_ Sakura gulped at the thought of this.

"I don't want to be fat…", she said. She felt so small, her voice was lost in the big room. She hated that feeling.

_Exactly why you shouldn't eat.,_ the voice nagged her. Sakura nodded. "No… Food…. Right..", she slowly and recluctantly agreed, though her inner organs were begging her not to.

**My love, you NEED food!,** the other voice pleaded. **Sakura, sweetie, you haven't eaten anything ALL DAY. Please, you need the nourishment!, **now it was downright begging.

Sakura was so confused. She was about to break any second now. But she couldn't break. Because he'd take her back _there._

_Don't patronize her! Don't you touch that refrigerator! Or the pantry! Hell, don't go near the damned kitchen!_

Sakura couldn't take this anymore. Slowly, she trudged toward the kitchen. She could hear the whispers of 'pathetic' and 'you should just die'. She gulped and held back the tears. She stuck to the comforting voice and the feeling of the arms wrapped around her that guided her aching feet to the hounds of hell- A.K.A. The Kitchen.

Suddenly, as usual, both the voices disapered. After she listens to one of them, they go away. But now the real battle was going to commence, she knew. For the fact of she was tripping over herself while she walked into The Kitchen. As soon as she got into there, she ran right over to the pantry, much to her dismay. She could almost feel the disappointment in her.

She shook as she stood there in front of the pantry. She was scared, so so scared. She didn't want to do this, she didn't want to at all. She knew it was bad. She knew she needed to keep control. But something told her in her mind, _**EAT! Eat the food, you idiot! You need food!!!**_ Her body screamed it, her brain screamed it, everything she had screamed it. But she couldn't do it. No, rather she WOULDN'T do it. She didn't want to lose control. But most of all…. She didn't want to get fat.

_Come on._ Her stomach cooed. _**Eat the food. You're hungry. You need it.**_ She shook her head. "No…" she said out loud. No… She can't take it. She can't eat the food. That's right… Control… She wanted-no, she _needs_ the control over herself. She couldn't eat the food or she'd get fat. She wouldn't be perfect.

She could never be perfect. And that's all she really wanted, right? To be perfect? Would she be noticed if she was perfect? But most of all… Would she be loved…? Perfection. That's what did this to her. And the worst part is- She couldn't stop now, even if she wanted to. It's been going on for too long. And thank Kami-sama that nobody knew.

She'd been put in those… _Hospitals_ before. She just was _not_ going back.

_**That's why you have to eat!**_ Her mind screeched at her, in an obnoxious shrill voice, trying to get her to listen. **You don't want to be put back there, right?****He believes that you're okay now!****You need to live up to what he believes don't you? **The voice told her. She shook harder when she realized who it was talking about.

But then a new voice appeared. The one she always, no matter how wrong it was, _always_ listened to. _No, Sakura. No no no. You will_ not_ eat the food. Who cares if he doesn't want you to eat the food? As long as he never finds out you're doing this again, you don't have to eat! And then you'll be skinny and pretty! And most of all…. _Perfect.

Sakura screamed at that. She couldn't take this. Perfection is all she wanted. But she didn't want to end up _there_ again. But she wanted to be thin; pretty. But she didn't want to disappoint _him._ But she wanted control. She was at a loss. She didn't know what she was supposed to do. She didn't understand why she did these _things_. Why she couldn't stop. Why she still wanted to be _thin._ But… She just wanted perfection.

She slammed the fridge door shut, and slowly fell down into a ball, tears running down her face. She was so sick of being so weak, as he had first said when he found out. And yet he… He helped her. She never understood why, but at first she was great full of him. But now, she hated him. She wanted him dead for making her worse. Because now, instead of one voice in her head, there were two. He could never understand how _hard_ this was for her, hell, she didn't even know if he CARED.

Rocking back in forth in a ball, she cried. She couldn't live up to anyone's expectations. She failed everyone. She failed _him._ She was pathetic. She shouldn't be allowed to be on this earth. She was a disgrace. The tears fell like a storm, down her face, warm liquid dropping down onto the floor staining it. She was tainted. She was imperfect. She was useless. She was pathetic. Weak. Annoying. Obnoxious. Fat. Ugly. A bitch. She shouldn't be alive. She should die and rot in hell, where she belonged. She's an abomination, that's what she is.

"No… No… No…" she shook her head slowly whispering these awful words to herself. To her, they were true. To him, they were false. Of course, she didn't know that. She didn't even know if he cared. She believed that he put her there to get her out of his life, not to help her, even when he _knew_ she needed the help. She obviously did, look at her. As he always told her, she looked pathetic on the floor shaking like that.

She didn't want to get up. She didn't even get up when she heard the door bell ring loudly, echoing in her brain, the noise killing her brain, torturing her. She didn't care who it was, she just wanted them to _go away._ Sad thing is, she didn't even have the strength to yell that. She didn't trust her voice at times like these. She wasn't even going to bother with the person at the door.

Until she heard the jingle of keys and the lock _click_ loudly, even the slightest sound as that could be heard loudly in the darkened silence of her house.

"Sasuke… kun…" she whispered, gathering all her strength to get up and try to clean up herself. She refused to show him, of all people, her problems.

"Sakura.", he called out, walking into the house, closing the door with a loud _thump_. She heard the shake of an umbrella. _Huh. I didn't realize it was raining out… Hopefully the storm blocked out my screaming…_, she thought to herself.

"_Sakura!_" he called out again, starting walking quickly into the house, checking all the rooms, until he got to the one room he was scared to find her in(even though he'd never admit it). The kitchen. The 'forbidden zone' to Sakura. He knew that, but when he saw her leaning on the fridge for support, he eyes puffy from what would be crying.

She tried to plaster on a smile for him, to make him feel like nothing was wrong, he could go away. _Not like he cares, anyway…,_ she thought to herself. "Sasuke-kun… H-hello…" she tried not to stutter and look pathetic.

He glared at her, him eyes tracing her figure up and down. _She looks skinnier… Has she been eating at all? Has she been purging again? Shit, Sakura… Why, admit, why…_, he contemplated in his head, trying not to grimace on the outside.

"Sakura… What have you been doing in here?" he questioned in his usual cold voice, trying to keep up his façade.

She sighed mentally. _See, he really doesn't care._ Whimpering slightly, looking down to avoid his onyx eyes, she said in a small voice, "N-nothing, Sasuke-kun. W-why would you be worried? You know I spent a month in the mental ward, you shouldn't be worried about me…" she tried to keep up her own façade. Difference is, Sasuke could see right through hers.

"Then why are you stuttering?" he asked almost in a… Caring tone. He dropped his glare, and his onyx eyes now were filled with, dare I say, concern?

Sakura kept her faint blush to herself, momentarily forgetting what had happened a few minutes before he arrived to her apartment. Spacing out for a second, Sasuke repeated his question, in a more forceful tone.

"Why. Are. You. Stuttering." he questioned, his cold voice so close to returning to his words, like a magnet that couldn't resist the pull.

"I-I'm… Just… Cold, yes that's it. I'm just cold…" she tried to pull herself together so he could go away and she could puke her guts out. Because Kami only know how badly she wanted to do so. But she couldn't kick him out. He was her biggest weakness. She couldn't do anything that would betray _him_. It was sad, actually. She took pathetic to a whole new level for him.

Sasuke sighed. He knew she was lying. He couldn't help but start to worry, as much as he didn't want to. Made him feel… Weak, how much he dared to care for her, the pathetic, weak, broken girl in front of him. Her pink hair starting to die slowly. Her nails broken and cracked. Her body too slim then it should be. Her emerald eyes losing their glow slowly. He loved her eyes, though he could never tell her that. That would just be… Wrong of him, to like… No, love, such a tainted, broken thing. He didn't understand why he was. He just knew he couldn't den y the feelings. But he couldn't tell her. It would just break her most. He wasn't going to tell her right now, hell, he didn't know WHEN he would get the chance to tell the cherry blossom, but he knew now was not the time.

Sakura bit her lip, waiting for him to answer her, wondering if he knew she was lying. She could've sworn he knew, but… It's not like he'd care, even if he knew. Her emerald eyes darted around the room, looking everywhere except for the boy in front of her, standing almost completely still, waiting for him to say something, _anything_ really.

Slowly his mouth opened, and Sakura's hopes began to rise. Then as suddenly as he came in, it shut again. Drowning the silence and crushing Sakura's hopes.

As suddenly as this happened, he came closer. Closer. Closer. Closer to the pink-haired girl, as her lips trembled in fear.

_She's scared. Why is she so scared? I'm trying to help…_ He almost wanted to scream in agony, and in his mind he was.

But instead of yelling, he pulled Sakura into a tight embrace. She, again, forgot about her 'situation' for a moment as she blushed ten shades of red, and shuddered from his grip.

Then she realized why he was doing this. It was because of how… Tainted she was. How stained she has become. _It's pity, isn't it._ She thought grudgingly. _He doesn't care._ So even though he was there, holding her head to his perfectly toned abs, she started shaking again, shuddering out silent sobs.

"I'm so… So… _Pathetic…_" she whispered out, slowly. Her voice was shaking as much as she was. She couldn't even keep her voice together. She really _was_ pathetic.

Sasuke sighed. She thought it was out of disappointment. He knew it was out of annoyance. "No, you're not, Sakura… Your anything but…" he attempted to reassure her, even though in the back of his mind he knew it would only make her cry harder and scream.

He was right.

"No! I AM pathetic! I'm a FAILURE, I'm an IDIOT! I'm not PERFECT! I will NEVER be perfect! I can't live up to what ANYBODY wants! I'm so… So… USELESS!" she screamed, the tears flowing harder now, soaking Sasuke's shirt, leaving wet stains. "I… I can't, Sasuke! I just CAN'T!!! Going there broke me, can you see that!? Can't you understand!? No, you can't understand, you probably don't care… You _never_ cared… You sent me to the damned place to get me off your back and out of your life, you bastard!" she started talking in a whisper after awhile, she just couldn't keep screaming, her voice just hurt… _She_ just hurt.

"Sakura…" Sasuke whispered into her hair. _Was he being… Was he _caring_ about me?,_ Sakura wondered to herself, as she started to stop crying.

_No, no no no no! Don't fall for him, don't fall for him, don't. Fall. For. HIM!!!! _, her mind screamed into her. _He'll only hurt you again. Break you more then you're already broken. He'll only make things worse for you. Don't fall for him._, she tried to tell herself that, but yet… Her heart wanted her to stay in love. Her brain told her it was wrong. Why was she always so confused? That was the million dollar question.

He really didn't know what to say to her, while she was in this kind of state. Should he talk? Should he let go? Should he tell her the truth? He didn't know how to help her when she was snapping like this. This kind of… Breakdown didn't happen to the poor cherry blossom very often. She was very… Nervous about some things, but she hadn't broken down like this in quite a long time, and he wasn't sure how to handle her.

The last time she broke down like this, she was in front of his house, crying and screaming that she needed him to help her, but he just slammed the door and ignored her. God, he was such an idiot. Maybe she wouldn't be in such an awful state if he had done something, even something as simple as letting her in and cry. He looked back on himself, and wanted to scream bloody murder in agony.

Which is what Sakura was starting to do. She apparently thought of that day herself. The first time she'd binged and purged. At the time, she had been starving herself into thin air, but something went wrong. And the first time it'd happened… This was when they were neighbors, and Sakura happened to be one of the many girls that were in love with him. Even though they were sort of friends through his 'best friend' Naruto.

_Sakura held the box of Ritz Crackers in her shaking hand. She hadn't eaten more than a shake in two days, not counting the gum she had to make her hunger go away. But she couldn't eat now. She'd been doing so well. She weighs 95.3 from110.0. That's really great. Now if she could be as skinny as Ino, and all the other girls that were chasing after Sasuke, maybe he'd notice her and think she was pretty. Because she knew she wasn't._

_Slowly, she resisted the screaming in her brain that told her to put the box down, and reached her down into the bag to grab a fistful of crackers._

_Chew. Munch. Swallow. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat until the box is empty._

_Slowly, realizing what she had just done, she starting crying madly. She freaked out and did the first thing that came to her mind. She threw it up. She threw it all up. _

_The acid burned her throat as it came out of her mouth. But she knew this is how she would be thin, how she could get Sasuke to notice her, think she's pretty. Pay attention to her, hold up a conversation longer then 'Hn.' With her._

_After basically collapsing onto the couch, curled up in a ball, realization hit her again. Except it was different._

_She realized what she had just done. She had just thrown up. She had just made herself throw up. "Oh, Kami…", she shuddered. And did the next thing that popped into her head- run out to Sasuke's house._

_She knew his parents were away on business, and Itachi was away for the week. She knew because yesterday she went over there with Naruto to work on a math problem. So she ran out of her house as fast as she possibly could and starting banging on his door screaming._

"_Sasuke-kun! Sasuke-kun! Please… Open your door… Please…" she choked out the words as loud as she could, which was hard to do since she was sobbing like mad. "Sasuke-kun! Please…" she begged, her voice losing altitude by the second._

_She heard the door open and looked up to find Sasuke looking as cold and emotionless as ever. "Sasuke-kun… Help… me…" she begged him looking into his deep onyx eyes, which showed no compassion whatsoever. Just hatred and annoyance._

_He took one look at her, sighed, and slammed the door in her face. She could hear him walk up the stairs of his house as she shook violently on his steps. "Why… Sasuke-kun…" were barely audible from her cherry-covered lips._

"Shhh… Shh…", Sasuke told her, quietly as she screamed into his chest, punching him in a way she thought was hard but to him was nothing. "It'll be okay…" he reassured her.

"No. No it won't be!" she whispered violently. She screamed into his chest, pouring everything out that she'd been holding in herself.

Sasuke let go her as she cried her eyes out. They were puffy and red, her cheeks were stained with white lines from tears, teardrops marking her clothes in several different places. She punched the air, pretending that it was someone to hurt. So she could get a sick satisfaction of it.

"Sasuke-kun… Why…" Sakura got out, though her words were blurred.

"So Sasuke, how's little Saku-chan doing?" the dark haired student asked his younger brother once Sasuke had gotten home.

He glared at him before answering. "Hn."

Itachi sighed. This usually means it had _not_ went well. "Do you think…"

Sasuke glared to cut him off. He knew what he was trying to ask and he was _not_ going to let him convince him to do that again. He had known it was a bad idea the first time, and yet he let him do it. But he refused to make the same mistake again. "No, she can't go back. She'll just get worse. She's gotten worse since she came back, haven't you noticed? It was a stupid thing to do in the first place, and I'm not letting you put her back there. Bastard." his glare got worse and colder as he spoke, his words flowing like lava, hot, slowly, and deadly.

Itachi frowned at this statement. "I know that it wasn't a good idea back then. But that was partially _your_ fault, if I remember correctly, foolish little brother." At this, Sasuke grimaced but didn't say anything to interrupt him. "But now, I think it's what's best for her."

Sasuke started glaring at him again. "You said that last time and you're saying it again. So, _no_.", he hissed out the last words as he stormed violently upstairs to his room. Itachi heard a very loud slam from the upstairs and assumed that was Sasuke, throwing another one of his tantrums.

In his room, Sasuke pounced on his bed, a little freaked at the idea of sending her back to that damned place. As she had painfully obviously stated a while ago, it only made her worse. And it didn't help that Itachi and himself were really the only two people outside of the hospital that knew about her problems. Which pained him. And probably her, as well.

He remembered when she was first admitted, the words that she screamed before Sasuke was forced to leave…

_Don't try to fix me, you bastards! I'm not broken! Sasuke-kun, Itachi-nii! Help! Please! Don't let them touch me!_

Those words and her screaming pained face haunted him every time he saw her.

What had he done to the beautiful cherry blossom?

He has destroyed it.

He has destroyed her.


	2. Over dose

_**A/N-Hey, sorry it took me awhile! We had to write a short story in English, and I decided to use the next chapter of Fix Me! Cuz like, why not put up a chapter AND get good grades, right? Amirite or amirite. Haha, anyway, hope you enjoy chapter two! I promise the next update will come faster~!**_

She awoke in her bed the next moment, momentary amnesia clouding her brain from the events of the previous nights. Sitting up while rubbing the sleep from her eyes, the thoughts slowly flooded back into her brain, and she watched them like a movie.

The breakdown in the kitchen. The food. Sasuke.

She sighed as she looked at the calendar. Monday, which means school. _Sasuke,_ his name was whispered in her head. Tears brimmed her eyes, but she forced herself up all the while.

She checked the clock now, reading the bright red letters to say 4 AM. Sighing once more, she swung her legs over the bed. No use going to sleep again, right? If she was just going to get up again in two hours anyway… She reluctantly forced herself out of bed and walked herself into the bathroom, ignoring the voices fighting in her head. Or attempting to, in any case.

*-*

She trudged herself to school, dreading seeing the other students of the over crowded high school. Mostly dreading seeing the raven haired boy from the night before, Uchiha Sasuke. I mean, she may not have many friends at the school, but she wasn't blind. Or deaf, for that matter. She had heard the gossip, hell, it had sometimes been told straight to her face. She knew what the other students said about her.

"She's so _skinny!_ She HAS to be anorexic." "Do you see how she never eats?!" "I see her go to the bathroom like after lunch ALL the time." "Sasuke-kun always watches over her! It's not fair!" "Pink hair?! What a _freak._" "Argh, she thinks she's all that!" "Haruno Sakura is such a bitch!"

She hated walking around and being stared at, it put her on edge and made her nervous. Her only two good friends, Naruto and Ino, seemed to fight a lot too, so it was hard to hang out with them constantly wanting her attention.

But she loved the few friends she had, they always stuck up for her. Even though she stood out more when she was with them, she often mused.

Ino was head cheerleader, smart(ish), pretty, kind, and blonde. Very, very blonde. She must've been THE most beautiful girl in school, though they were only in their junior year. She was the most popular and most wanted girl in the school. Sakura still wondered why she hung out with such a freak like her. **You don't deserve her friendship**, the voice would always whisper, the cold air feeling so real against her ear, though she continuously tried to convince herself that that was in fact a lie, the voice would just cackle.

Naruto, on the other hand, must be the most imfamous guy. Not so smart, he got into more trouble then the senior student body combinied. And that was saying something. He is also extremely oblivious to other's feelings, but he was a really sweet and caring boy. Which was commonly mistake for the fact that he was blind to others. But the thing that made him stand out the most? He's Sasuke's best(more like only….)friend. The relationship between the two guys was very strange, really. They fought over just about _everything_, and yet they were like brothers.

Anyways, as soon as she sat down for homeroom, Ino and Naruto seemingly materialized and glomped her. Hard.

"Forehead!" and "Sakura-chan!" were yelled at the same time, Ino with her affectionate childhood nickname, and Naruto with the suffix for the rosette.

She laughed awkwardly and put on a flawless rhinestone like smile. "Hi, guys!"she tried to sound energetic, but her lack of sleep and food was catching up.

Naruto, being oblivious to this, couldn't tell. But Ino gave her a stern I'm-going-to-force-this-out-of-you-later look. When at that moment Sasuke came out of thin air to hit the rosette on the back of the head with his knuckles, affectionately. Or, rather, as affectionate as the raven haired boy could get.

"Ow…", she mumbled. Seeing him would bring back yesterday into her mind, she knew, she didn't turn around when she muttered a faint hello.

"Hn. Hey, dobe. Yamanaka," Sasuke greeted the three.

Naruto brightened once again, just as he had when he had come over to Sakura. "Hey, teme! Come to see your precious-"

Before he could finish his sentence, Sasuke gave the unfortunate blonde his famous Uchiha death glare, immediately shutting the blonde up. "Hn." Sasuke responded.

"Oi, teme. Can I talk to you?" noting his blank stare at Sakura. Sure, Naruto was oblivious, but he wasn't totally blind. He could see the looks others gave to each other, hence his terror of the Uchiha's glare.

They walked off, leaving the two girls behind. Eyeing the rosette suspiciously, Ino turned to her best friend. "All right, Forehead! Spill!" Ino glared at Sakura carefully. She knew how moody she could get. "Did something happen with Sasuke? It's like off and on with you two… If you want me to knock some sense into the dumbass, just give me the word and-"

"No, Ino-pig. It's not Sasuke. I just haven't been getting much sleep, that's all…", she trailed off, trying to attain a weak smile, but failing miserably.

The blonde girl glared at Sakura. "Sakura." The said girl immediately worried. She only used her name when something serious was going on. "You left out the 'kun' in Sasuke's name." Sakura inwardly winced at her obvious and stupid mistake. "Something's up, and you're not telling me what it is."

Sakura sighed, finding no way out of the situation. She really couldn't keep that much from her best friend, then again, who really can. "He's just…." She began to say, trying to look for the right words.

"Who's just what, Sakura-chan?", saved by Naruto, something that seemed to happen to her often. Sakura inwardly sighed in relief and grinned at the idiot.

_That blonde kid is always sticking up for you; you don't deserve him or what he does for you,_ the voice snickered darkly inside Sakura's head.

"That's not true…", said girl murmered, not knowing she said the sentence out loud. That is, until the two blondes gave her questioning looks, and Sasuke raised an eyebrow, knowing something was talking to her.

"Forehead…?" Ino asked, eyeing her strangely.

Sakura laughed awkwardly, apologizing quickly. Though Ino and Sasuke both weren't convinced, the blonde decided to let it go, while the other decided to interrogate her about it later.

Luckily for her, the bell rang, signiling that it was time to move to the first class of the day. Sighing with relief, the rosette bolted out of the classroom, leaving her three friends dumbfounded and to go to their own classes without her.

*-*

Sakura slammed her locker door shut with a small smile on her face, pleased that she had managed to avoid Sasuke for the entire day, along with Naruto and Ino.

**You're a jerk, you know.** The sentence was whispered , Sakura could feel the breath in her ears. She grit her teeth. No matter how many times she told herself that the voice(s) wasn't(weren't)real, or told the voice(s)to go away, they always came back from the dark clouds in her mind. And sometimes, almost at least once a week, she would succumb to the voices and let them talk her into stupid things, and convince her of things like weight loss, or drugs, just as they had last night. Just as they had a year ago. Just as they do every day.

Sakura zipped up her bag, trying to ignore the dark words filling her brain. As she started to walk towards the door, a hand gripping her elbow restrained her from taking another step.

"I didn't see you at lunch today, Sakura." She gasped silently at the voice, of none other then the youngest Uchiha. "have you been eating?", the tone was soft, as well as his words. He was being careful not to wound or upset the bipolar teenager before him.

She froze at the question, though quickly recovering and turning around slightly to semi face him, and she smiled weakly, while on the inside the rosette fought whether to lie to the Uchiha or not.

"O-of course, Sasuke-kun!" she let out, trying to make it as believable as possible. On the inside one cheered for her as the other twitched and cringed in anger for the lie.

A shiver flowed down her spine at his glare, as he released his grip on her arm. "Expect a visit again tonight, Sakura…" he said slowly, and quickly departed from the scene.

The rosette shivered once more, and stalked out of the building to walk to her own home.

*-*

The lock clicked as Sakura locked the door after entering her house. That way, she mused, she'd have a warning before Sasuke came in, giving her about a minute to clean up whatever 'mess' she'd make, as he forced the old door to let him.

_Smart, smart girl_, one of the voices told her, taking the form of a human girl, leaning on the door in front of her. _How long has it been since you've eaten?_ She asked, the smirk on her face as well as in her cruel sounding voice.

"Er…", she started to count on her fingers. "Twenty… Six hours? Seven?" she questioned to no one in particular. "Somewhere around there, I'm pretty sure."

Sakura watched the girl clap and smile wickedly. She awoke in her bed the next moment, momentary amnesia clouding her brain from the events of the previous nights. Sitting up while rubbing the sleep from her eyes, the thoughts slowly flooded back into her brain, and she watched them like a movie.

The breakdown in the kitchen. The food. Sasuke.

She sighed as she looked at the calendar. Monday, which means school. _Sasuke,_ his name was whispered in her head. Tears brimmed her eyes, but she forced herself up all the while.

She checked the clock now, reading the bright red letters to say 4 AM. Sighing once more, she swung her legs over the bed. No use going to sleep again, right? If she was just going to get up again in two hours anyway… She reluctantly forced herself out of bed and walked herself into the bathroom, ignoring the voices fighting in her head. Or attempting to, in any case.

*-*

She trudged herself to school, dreading seeing the other students of the over crowded high school. Mostly dreading seeing the raven haired boy from the night before, Uchiha Sasuke. I mean, she may not have many friends at the school, but she wasn't blind. Or deaf, for that matter. She had heard the gossip, hell, it had sometimes been told straight to her face. She knew what the other students said about her.

"She's so _skinny!_ She HAS to be anorexic." "Do you see how she never eats?!" "I see her go to the bathroom like after lunch ALL the time." "Sasuke-kun always watches over her! It's not fair!" "Pink hair?! What a _freak._" "Argh, she thinks she's all that!" "Haruno Sakura is such a bitch!"

She hated walking around and being stared at, it put her on edge and made her nervous. Her only two good friends, Naruto and Ino, seemed to fight a lot too, so it was hard to hang out with them constantly wanting her attention.

But she loved the few friends she had, they always stuck up for her. Even though she stood out more when she was with them, she often mused.

Ino was head cheerleader, smart(ish), pretty, kind, and blonde. Very, very blonde. She must've been THE most beautiful girl in school, though they were only in their junior year. She was the most popular and most wanted girl in the school. Sakura still wondered why she hung out with such a freak like her. **You don't deserve her friendship**, the voice would always whisper, the cold air feeling so real against her ear, though she continuously tried to convince herself that that was in fact a lie, the voice would just cackle.

Naruto, on the other hand, must be the most imfamous guy. Not so smart, he got into more trouble then the senior student body combinied. And that was saying something. He is also extremely oblivious to other's feelings, but he was a really sweet and caring boy. Which was commonly mistake for the fact that he was blind to others. But the thing that made him stand out the most? He's Sasuke's best(more like only….)friend. The relationship between the two guys was very strange, really. They fought over just about _everything_, and yet they were like brothers.

Anyways, as soon as she sat down for homeroom, Ino and Naruto seemingly materialized and glomped her. Hard.

"Forehead!" and "Sakura-chan!" were yelled at the same time, Ino with her affectionate childhood nickname, and Naruto with the suffix for the rosette.

She laughed awkwardly and put on a flawless rhinestone like smile. "Hi, guys!"she tried to sound energetic, but her lack of sleep and food was catching up.

Naruto, being oblivious to this, couldn't tell. But Ino gave her a stern I'm-going-to-force-this-out-of-you-later look. When at that moment Sasuke came out of thin air to hit the rosette on the back of the head with his knuckles, affectionately. Or, rather, as affectionate as the raven haired boy could get.

"Ow…", she mumbled. Seeing him would bring back yesterday into her mind, she knew, she didn't turn around when she muttered a faint hello.

"Hn. Hey, dobe. Yamanaka," Sasuke greeted the three.

Naruto brightened once again, just as he had when he had come over to Sakura. "Hey, teme! Come to see your precious-"

Before he could finish his sentence, Sasuke gave the unfortunate blonde his famous Uchiha death glare, immediately shutting the blonde up. "Hn." Sasuke responded.

"Oi, teme. Can I talk to you?" noting his blank stare at Sakura. Sure, Naruto was oblivious, but he wasn't totally blind. He could see the looks others gave to each other, hence his terror of the Uchiha's glare.

They walked off, leaving the two girls behind. Eyeing the rosette suspiciously, Ino turned to her best friend. "All right, Forehead! Spill!" Ino glared at Sakura carefully. She knew how moody she could get. "Did something happen with Sasuke? It's like off and on with you two… If you want me to knock some sense into the dumbass, just give me the word and-"

"No, Ino-pig. It's not Sasuke. I just haven't been getting much sleep, that's all…", she trailed off, trying to attain a weak smile, but failing miserably.

The blonde girl glared at Sakura. "Sakura." The said girl immediately worried. She only used her name when something serious was going on. "You left out the 'kun' in Sasuke's name." Sakura inwardly winced at her obvious and stupid mistake. "Something's up, and you're not telling me what it is."

Sakura sighed, finding no way out of the situation. She really couldn't keep that much from her best friend, then again, who really can. "He's just…." She began to say, trying to look for the right words.

"Who's just what, Sakura-chan?", saved by Naruto, something that seemed to happen to her often. Sakura inwardly sighed in relief and grinned at the idiot.

_That blonde kid is always sticking up for you; you don't deserve him or what he does for you,_ the voice snickered darkly inside Sakura's head.

"That's not true…", said girl murmered, not knowing she said the sentence out loud. That is, until the two blondes gave her questioning looks, and Sasuke raised an eyebrow, knowing something was talking to her.

"Forehead…?" Ino asked, eyeing her strangely.

Sakura laughed awkwardly, apologizing quickly. Though Ino and Sasuke both weren't convinced, the blonde decided to let it go, while the other decided to interrogate her about it later.

Luckily for her, the bell rang, signiling that it was time to move to the first class of the day. Sighing with relief, the rosette bolted out of the classroom, leaving her three friends dumbfounded and to go to their own classes without her.

*-*

Sakura slammed her locker door shut with a small smile on her face, pleased that she had managed to avoid Sasuke for the entire day, along with Naruto and Ino.

**You're a jerk, you know.** The sentence was whispered , Sakura could feel the breath in her ears. She grit her teeth. No matter how many times she told herself that the voice(s) wasn't(weren't)real, or told the voice(s)to go away, they always came back from the dark clouds in her mind. And sometimes, almost at least once a week, she would succumb to the voices and let them talk her into stupid things, and convince her of things like weight loss, or drugs, just as they had last night. Just as they had a year ago. Just as they do every day.

Sakura zipped up her bag, trying to ignore the dark words filling her brain. As she started to walk towards the door, a hand gripping her elbow restrained her from taking another step.

"I didn't see you at lunch today, Sakura." She gasped silently at the voice, of none other then the youngest Uchiha. "have you been eating?", the tone was soft, as well as his words. He was being careful not to wound or upset the bipolar teenager before him.

She froze at the question, though quickly recovering and turning around slightly to semi face him, and she smiled weakly, while on the inside the rosette fought whether to lie to the Uchiha or not.

"O-of course, Sasuke-kun!" she let out, trying to make it as believable as possible. On the inside one cheered for her as the other twitched and cringed in anger for the lie.

A shiver flowed down her spine at his glare, as he released his grip on her arm. "Expect a visit again tonight, Sakura…" he said slowly, and quickly departed from the scene.

The rosette shivered once more, and stalked out of the building to walk to her own home.

*-*

The lock clicked as Sakura locked the door after entering her house. That way, she mused, she'd have a warning before Sasuke came in, giving her about a minute to clean up whatever 'mess' she'd make, as he forced the old door to let him.

_Smart, smart girl_, one of the voices told her, taking the form of a human girl, leaning on the door in front of her. _How long has it been since you've eaten?_ She asked, the smirk on her face as well as in her cruel sounding voice.

"Er…", she started to count on her fingers. "Twenty… Six hours? Seven?" she questioned to no one in particular. "Somewhere around there, I'm pretty sure."

Sakura watched the girl clap and smile wickedly.

_Good, good, very good. I'm proud of you! You most likely lost a pound… Now if you could only lose about five more. That would be wonderful!_

"Mhm…" Sakura said carefully, as she walked to her room. "I have to do, uh, homework now, so I'll be going now…", Sakura said, walking away and up the stairs to her room.

_Tsk, tsk, tsk girl. Whatever._ The voice's hallucination disappeared from the room, leaving Sakura alone again. The rosette sighed as she opened the door to her room, throwing her bag against the window.

"If I eat tonight, I'll punish myself. I have to be perfect, right…?", she asked to no one in particular, half expecting the voices to pop up telling her off. But to her momentary shock, they just stayed quiet.

She grinned a little, as she took out a syringe filled with a liquid. "Well, since nobody's around to see me… I guess it wouldn't exactly hurt, right?", she told herself, as she slowly pressed the needle into her forearm.

Then the liquid flooded through her, and she began to wait for the drug to take place. The drug for her took usually about 45 minutes to take effect, but as she did it more often, the LSD worked faster. Now, she only had to wait about 20 to 30 minutes for her to start hallucinating.

She loved the drug. Sure, sometimes it lasted too long if Sasuke was to come over, but the dreams it gave her were usually the best. They were so real, and unlike her hallucinations from her schizophrenia, she thought they were real. It was like she really lived in the dream world the drug showed her.

After the wait, she started to see colors like a kaleidoscope, and soon enough after this, the trip came to her.

She saw her and Sasuke, holding hands, walking into the school on prom night. She looked very skinny, perfect, as she would call it. Her hair was put beautifully, and Sasuke and herself just complemented each other's looks amazingly.

As that faded out, she saw them in a house, married. With a kid in her arms, laughing with the husband and her daughter. The little girl, who seemed to be about three, had black hair like her father, emerald eyes like her mother, and a smile and a frown combined the two.

This scene faded out, and the real Sakura was laughing and smiling like an idiot, her pupils were very much dilated, and she appeared to be sweating as she twitched.

And then Sasuke came into the room, catching her in her state of wonderment. At first, he thought she was just having a good dream, at the time her eyes were closed. But then… She started screaming like crazy. Crying bloody murder, and looked very, deathly pale.

Sasuke was now at her side, and as he leaned over to pick her up, he realized her pupils were very, very small. "Shit…", he cursed as he looked at the syringe lying next to her. "Dammit, Sakura. What the fuck did you do to yourself…", he whispered to her, as she continued to scream and cry, not knowing what was really happening.

Sasuke picked her up bridal style and carried her back to his house, which wasn't really too far, maybe about a twenty minute walk. When the rosette had moved out, Itachi had forced her to move to a house in walking distance of himself, in case something bad were to happen. Like now, for instance.

The younger Uchiha kept quietly cursing as he brought her into his house. "This was a great time for Itachi to be with Sasori and Deidara… God damn…", he muttered, trying not to freak out. Even though Sakura was oblivious to what her surroundings were, he still thought if he kept his cool the screaming and bad hallucions might go away.

He sighed, and laid her out on the couch, gingerly. He didn't know much about the drug, so he didn't want to somehow make it worse by freaking her out.

He gave the rosette one long look before getting out his cell phone and calling the elder Uchiha. On the third ring, he picked up.

Sasuke heard a sigh on the other end. "Yes, little brother? What do you want?"

Sasuke attempted to keep his voice under control. "Sakura's on LSD. I think she over dosed."

And then the line was silent. Sasuke looked at his phone only to find that Itachi had hung up on him. Sasuke cursed, hoping he was on his way.

And to his luck, he was.

He pushed open the door, letting it slam behind him.

"We need to take her to the-"

"NO.", Sasuke's glare and demonic sounding voice cut him off. "Not fucking happening, Aniki."

Itachi sighed, running a hand through his hair, a trait that both Sasuke and himself shared. "But, Sasuke, she-"

"No, and that's final." Again Itachi was cut off by his brother, earning a glaring contest for the two.

"….. Whatever, Sasuke. Just… Get her a cold washcloth and something she can throw up in and leave her alone for the next three to six hours. Make sure you watch her, so she doesn't start screaming again."

Sasuke glared at his brother once more. "Fine."

And so Sasuke ended up staying up the whole night, watching Sakura puke her guts out and cry and scream and smile like an idiot. "Sakura… What have you gotten yourself into…", he asked her, silence greeting him.

The raven haired boy sighed, and stroked her hair. "You'll be okay… I promise.", and with that he kissed her on her forehead, getting up to sit in the chair next to the couch. Soon, falling asleep, leaving the rosette to have the rest of her trip by herself.


End file.
